In the Western world, it is common for women (and men) to feel a constant pressure to improve ourselves. The self-help, self-improvement and self-care movement has, in recent years, skyrocketed. We are told, and deep down wholeheartedly believe, that we can find lasting joy in our achievements, wealth, career, things we own, how we look and how others perceive us. But if we’re honest with ourselves, we are left disheartened, disillusioned, and disappointed. In her book Enough About Me, Jen Oshman points out a deep problem in this belief – it is focused entirely on the “self”.
The book helpfully, and necessarily, points us away from ourselves, because joy doesn’t come from a new self-improvement strategy. Instead, the author points us to our great God because true and lasting joy comes from rooting our identity in who God says we are and what He has done on our behalf.
Although the intended audience for Enough About Me is women, I think that it will be a helpful read for men and women alike.
A chapter that I found particularly helpful was Chapter 6 which begins by resonating with the problem of choice. In the West, choice is seen as the ultimate sign of freedom. We have so much choice – groceries, meal choices, what to do when we grow up, which school to go to, whether to go to university, what to study, our job/career, relationships, friendships, where to live, to even what persona we should adopt in order for people to like us, respect us and accept us.
“Choice itself isn’t the problem. The problem arises when you and I begin to believe that we are omnipotent with our choice-making power. Like a mirage in the desert, choice casts an image of power that isn’t backed up by our reality.”
However, we are not God and we can’t control the outcome of our lives through our choices. In fact, we feel so much pressure to make the right decision and fear failure. Choice does not lead to peace.
“Ultimately only one thing can conquer choice – being chosen [by God]… At the end of the day, it’s God’s choices that lead to real, lasting peace… It’s God’s choices – his actions, his story, his will – that give peace, not our choices. God’s good character, sovereignty, and will offer the only sufficient antidote to all of our fears.”
The author, Jen Oshman has, alongside her husband, served as a missionary in Japan, planted a church in the Czech Republic and an Acts29 church in Colorado. She is a pastor’s wife, blogger and podcaster, with four daughters, one of whom they adopted 10 years ago.
I found this book to be incredibly sobering, challenging and encouraging at the same time. I would highly recommend this to women especially, although men would also benefit from it. At the end of each chapter there are questions for personal reflection or group discussion which makes this book a great resource for one-to-one/triplet discipleship, small groups or book clubs, as well as personal reading.
I would also recommend this book to both churched and unchurched individuals. The book devotes an earlier chapter to describing clearly and beautifully what the gospel is, which is beneficial to all regardless of how many times we think we have heard the gospel explained.
By Eunice Kiem
1 June 2020